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Monthly Archives: January 2011
Widow
How does a widow know whether the husband she is burying is going to heaven or hell?……..Widow’s peak. How does she know whether he was wearing a toupee?…. Widow’s peek.
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Composition
When Mozart’s wife irritated him he had a difficult time composing himself.
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Bombers
The obituary says the guy flew B-17s. It made me wonder whether there is a B-1. If not, there should B-1.
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Garbage
I know a guy we nicknamed “The Human Garbage Can.” He would eat anything. He had a real problem with waist management.
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Valet service
My ambition is to own a valet service staffed entirely by women. I intend to title the company, “Valet of the Dolls.”
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Corned Beef
I put my groceries in the car. When I got back the corned beef was gone. Truncated.
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Kite Flying
With every technological advancement there is a downside. When Benjamin Franklin harnessed electricity there were strings attached.
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Corny Pun
If you eat too much corn on the cob it makes you husky.
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Commitment
The atlete checked into the mental hospital for the third time after his coach criticized him for his level of commitment.
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Washer and dryer
My wife left a $20 bill in the wash. I had her arrested for money laundering. She did not appreciate my dryer sense of humor.
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